I miss you Mummy 5

Yesterday was the 40th day since Mummy was called home, so after sending Adik to work, and having auntie Jen so graciously taking leave from work and lending her car, Daddy, Abang, Auntie and I pack in the car with two pots of plants we’ve been nurturing for about a month, shovel and a cooler bag full of drinks and head off to Chenor.

It was an uneventful drive, gave me plenty of time to think, memories peppered each landmark, and actually threatened to overcome my concentration, so I sang myself hoarse, so I could drive us safely there. We had breakfast along the way, so arrived at the graveyard around 12.30 p.m. The weather was exceptional yesterday, it was drizzling as we were driving, but by the time we arrived, it had stopped and because of that the sun was hidden by clouds so it wasn’t that hot. When we arrive Dad and Abang got to business, Abang raking the leaves and dad started raising the ground of mom’s grave using the shovel we bought the day before.



Dad and Abang spelled each other from time to time, it was hard work, the soil was wet so it was heavy to lift, but around 1.30 p.m., they were nearly done, the only thing left was to plant the plants we brought plus the plant in the pot I left 39 days ago. I was playing camera woman while all this hard work was going on and it was hard too because I kept being bitten by ants and going through the mud in my sandal was hard work. After the grave was done to Dad’s satisfaction, Dad recited Al-Fatihah and prayed, and so we said goodbye to Mummy yet again.




As we were cleaning up and packing things back up Dad told me to go back to the grave and take full shot of the grave. So I went and being alone, my tears could not be dam up anymore; I cried and told Mummy how much I miss her again and again. I think I took more angles of FS than required by Dad, but I guess Dad in his instinctive way, yet again, give me the chance to grieve privately.



Actually it was harder driving back, because we drove to Temerloh and that route hold so many memories, and going through the bridge was hard, Mom, Dad and I have a history on a drive to that bridge (maybe I’ll write about it someday), I think whatever part of my heart that has healed since broke again and I guess my bubble basket have to be back hard at work collecting the pieces.

After arriving safely at home, from a drive that took all my stubborn will to concentrate on, and after eating dinner, I distracted myself with WOW and Facebook games, Dad told me to sleep around midnite, I capitulated , but I kept tossing and turning, I can’t sleep. Abang had trouble sleeping as well, I talked to him about Mummy until he fell asleep but I myself can’t enter that sweet unconscious dreamland. So I did what I usually do when I can’t sleep and I need to, I texted Phil, unburden what was in my mind and cried myself to sleep. I miss you Mummy.