Monday, February 22, 2010

My head is in a mess with this questions

I am a mess, I still haven figured a way out of my present predicament and I have to add on new questions to my already messed up brain. I wrote something out as usual, it is horrible, but I just need to let it out. So toxin out....


Questions???

he says you are perfect for me
he says you are the one
he says it is like I have won the lottery
he says I love you
but
I can’t see the way we’d be together
you are there I am here
I can move there
but what can I do there
we can’t live on air
so in the end were we meant for do or die?

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Remembering

What more could I ask,
he flew halfway round the world for me,
pulled out all the stops
just to be sure
he'd get there
and gave me the three best days of my life.

So if I am feeling a bit lonely today,
a bit bereft,
missing him so much,
I guess I kind of have to remember
I have gotten more than I could
ever imagine,
and that this agony
will make the next time
he comes to see me
so much better.

So holding on to the memories,
till we can make new ones,
and till then it is back
to Skype hugs and kisses.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Human Connection

Ages ago, I wrote how Knighthood save me from tumbling down into the dark world of depression. The game is interesting, it keeps my mind off of things, but the main reason it helps is the human connection I made there. I don't know what makes it different from other facebook apps or games, that you tend to make really good friends. But knighthood is a real social game, you can't avoid making connections with other players as you play it.

I met some of the best people while making my way through the game, and gotten to know someone who has turn out to be one of the best friend that I have ever had. From the first hello, we sorta had a feeling that we have so much in common, his first YM, he was telling me that I was his game soul mate. As the months progress, the instant messaging was getting more frequent until it became a daily talk on Skype. We talked at first about Knighthood, but soon it was every topic under the sun, and basically we are so alike it was freaky. But finally, I found someone who understand how I feel deep down, and I don't really have to spell out stuff for him, LOL, Phil would know how I felt about things even if I just kept quiet, and that is rare, LOL, understanding stuff that is left unsaid is not a skill many man has.

He was always telling me that he'd come and visit me some day or asking me to come and visit him. But I have always taken that someday as part a long period of time or a dream unreachable for now, the day he told me he is actually coming to visit, I was so happy, I couldn't described the euphoria, and when words fail me, that is something, LOL. The anticipation kept me occupied and drove away all the dark clouds that was still hovering, but I was also nervous, meeting up for real is actually different from just chatting online, no matter how comfortable and close those chat makes us feel. But from the first smile and hug as he got off the plane, it was real comfortable, like we have known each other awhile, and thinking about it, we have, somehow the connection we made talking everyday was for real and when he came as he said, it was just a continuation of that, just putting a physical element to our relationship.

Now that i have had the best three days of my life, I have to remember to thank God for answering my prayers, I asked Him, a long time ago, to send someone apart from family that could give back meaning and purpose to my life and He did it in such a spectacular way, that it renewed my faith, LOL, He surely like to answer my prayers in a roundabout way, but when He answers He really answers, LOL.

Well I guess that is it, this is just to answer all those questions my friends are asking when I posted the photos for his visit, which was limited, lol, most of it was taken at the airport when he was flying back, because I brought Dad along, the family official photographer. Who knew a game would give me so much more than a moments enjoyment. Cheers!