Rambling On

Well I don’t know what to write actually, have no clear purpose really, but so many things running through my mind that somehow I find myself opening up words. My mood is on a roller coaster ride lately, but somehow this roller coaster is designed to ride on really negative emotions, I have been going up and down on sad and angry tracks. I spend the whole day yesterday crying, one of the reasons is because it is that time of the month, that just leave my mood unstable, another reason is missing Phil and Mom, and as the days go by any little reason seems to feed the tears as well. Actually I have been sad so long; I don’t really recall how it feels to be happy yesterday. I told Phil about it and as usual he gave me a simple answer, but somehow it made me feel better. Let me quote verbatim, it’s better that way.

[3:14:30 PM] Phil McQuinn: Ya the trick I find is not dwelling on sad stuff. I can get really down but then I think about you instead. I don’t think that thinking about problems helps if you can’t solve them they just upset you and make you feel helpless, better to just go do something you can do.

So I guess that is why I am typing now, to just do something I can do. I wish I could write stories, but I seem to be like Mom, I like writing about stuff that happens to me, I get stuck when I try to invent stories. I am good at poetry but Phil summed it up it nicely, poems are good for awards not for financial health. I am still thinking about that story idea I had, and from time to time have ideas on how to expand it, but for now it remains as ideas, I can’t seem to put it down on paper, or more accurately type it out on screen. Well maybe one of these days I will.

On a different note, all my friends know I love to sing and I always have a book full of lyrics around me always, I used to print out lyrics that I like to sing and keep them in folders. The problem is it is too bulky to carry around. I know I need to have something small and easy to carry and slip in my handbag, it occurred to me on my road trip to Wales when I needed to sing to accompany the beautiful scenery and can’t recall a lot of songs, showing my age of course, I used to remember 20 songs at least. So I bought this small notebook and been trying to copy down lyrics in. What I found out is that, my fingers are so used to typing that writing now is agonizing, so my project is going slowly, one lyric a day is all I can manage.

Well I guess that is all for now, enough rambling for one day. Hope I’ll write in a better mood next time. Happiness to all.