I Won't Give Up Personalized

I have been listening to Jason Mraz’s “I Won’t Give Up” all morning, trying to bolster my spirit. As I listened, it reminded me of when I link Phil this song, telling him this song reminds me a lot about us and gives me the courage to go on. I can’t recall exactly what he said, tried to look through old Skype conversation, but was just too daunting searching through months of conversation, so going to do it through my faulty memory (forgive me Hun, if I don’t get it exactly right).

What I recall he said was that the song was OK  but more personalize to the person singing, rather than applied to us directly, he then linked me The Wanted “Glad You Came”, and said that fit how we met perfectly. Well I won’t deny that, but what moves me to write today (and I am like so happy, I can write) is when I heard the song, I was like why didn't Phil get it, this part describes exactly how I feel, and a light bulb flash in my head, maybe I need to write an analysis of the song’s lyric and point out to Phil the relevant connection.

I know I’d be embarrassed about some stuff I am revealing here, but been too long since I could write more than a few sentence, so what the heck, I’d give it a go. So here goes.

When I was first getting to know Phil, I love looking at his eyes, there’s a particular picture he has on his Facebook that I’d stare at for hours on end. 

And when he came for the first time to visit me here in Malaysia, I remember when we sit having coffee or something, we’d be staring at each other’s eyes saying nothing for a long time it seems.It was hard to describe why I’d do that until I heard the first stanza of the song:

When I look into your eyes

It's like watching the night sky

Or a beautiful sunrise

There's so much they hold

And just like them old stars

I see that you've come so far

To be right where you are

How old is your soul?

The chorus should be self-explanatory I think, but let me state the obvious, I won’t give up however rough it gets for us. :)

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

This next stanza brought a smile to my face just because it brought to mind how silly I can be. There are periods when Phil would go AWOL on me, meaning he won’t be reachable through Skype or phone, he tells me not to worry, he just needs some space to do what he has to do, I worry of course, and sometimes gets upset, but this stanza calms me down and reminds me it’s OK, he’ll be back soon and tell me stuff he has done or learned.

And when you're needing your space

To do some navigating

I'll be here patiently waiting

To see what you find

And when there’s time I falter and feel like a failure and Phil’s not around to bolster my spirit this stanza gives me the strength to go on.

'Cause even the stars they burn

Some even fall to the earth

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

No: I won't give up

Actually the rest of the song give me that courage to go on in anything I do, not just specifically applying to Phil and I, but also to my life. That will to go on despite hardship and learning to handle what life throws at you and understanding who I am.

 I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily

I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use

The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake

And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend

For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn

We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in

I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am

Hmm after doing that, I see what Phil is saying, this song is very personal, but since I could personalize each part of it to my own experience I can relate to it very well. Whatever it is, the song helps me get through most of my worst funks and doldrums, so I’ll continue to listen to it and loving it. :)