Happy birthday, Boy! I can’t believe you are sixteen already. It feels like yesterday that I was holding you in my arms at 3 a.m. begging you to sleep. I think that started the ritual of singing to you as loud as I can until I go hoarse or you got back to sleep. It was funny that neither you crying nor my singing would wake up Mummy, Daddy, or Adik. They would continue to sleep knowing I’d take care of you. Well I did and loved every second of it, even though those 3 a.m. walkabout would made me sleepy in class the next day. Those were crazy times, after so long of asking and praying for another sibling, a baby I could play with, well I know you are not a doll, but I was barely sixteen when I started asking, so to me babies were like live dolls to be played with. I guessed that is why God waited until I was 19 to answer my prayer. Mummy had quite a relapse that year, so I took over right from the start, with Adik as my back up when I had to go to class, she was in form four, her honeymoon year, so we figured a few miss days wouldn’t matter much, to the consternation of her teachers of course.
So there I was taking the first bus out to KL , so I could take the earliest bus to UPM Serdang, meaning I had to wake up at 5 a.m. and then as soon as my classes are over rushing back home to you. I basically had no idea how to deal with a baby then, I learned firsthand from you and whatever little dad knows, and a few lucid moments from Mum. I made a lot of mistakes, I knew that now, but I guess I didn’t screw up too bad, you turned out to be quite a good young man, maybe more you than me, but I am really proud of you.
You have a long way yet to go, and I know you despair sometimes what the future might bring for you, but I believe in you and I know you will find your way somehow. I know you are sad to be celebrating this birthday without Mum, I am sad too, I wish you had more years with her, but the wheel turns when it wants to turn and we have no say in that. Please know that I know Mum loved you very much and she would be very proud of you. Happy 16 birthday, Abang, the family and I love you very much, no matter what.
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