Storms

You know the saying when it rains, it pours. It really does. In my storms hit life, however bad it gets I have always had someone to help prop me up, my survival so far has depended on that. So when Mummy was critical in ICU, even though I cried, from guilt mostly, I know I’d get through it because Daddy, Adik and Abang is right beside me and of course the support of others that love us. But yesterday when in the morning the doctor told me Abang has influenza B and has to be quarantined at home for three days, and then brought Adik to the doctor to check out her swollen foot – infected wound and need rest, and seeing Daddy who can’t barely move because of a bad back ache, and seeing Mummy who is slowly improving health wise but worsening mental wise, was just too much. I have never felt so alone or so overwhelmed. Texting my boyfriend and one of my closest friend help somewhat, but both being so far away can’t take away that feeling of helplessness of not being strong enough to do all that needs doing. Before anyone starts telling me that Allah is always beside me and I should have faith in Him to help me, I know that, but me being human with human failings so that moment of weakness is kind of expected, isn’t it?

I am just writing this as usual to get this out of my system instead of it fermenting and becoming toxic in my mind, I am all right or I’ll be fine soon because I am the pillar and my weak point is still protected so I guess will not be crumbling anytime soon.