On Dichotomy

Dichotomy as defined is a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different. When I first learned of this concept in one of Dr. Quayyum’s literature class it striked a chord in me. I have always felt that two extreme contrasting emotion battling inside me. I can be extremely happy and extremely sad at the same time. Even Dr. Quayyum once noted to me, that I confused him sometimes because my assignments could be extremely brilliant in one and extremely dull and idiotic in another (this wasn’t his words; this was my interpretation on his very diplomatic comments).

A week ago after resolving a long confusing issue with a happy outcome, not yet a conclusion but a resolution and clear plan that a satisfactory outcome would be the end goal, I was really happy, on cloud nine really, but the next day as I drive to work I was feeling really sad and in the car park I broke down and cried. I was confuse, because deep down I know I was really happy and these weren’t happy tears, It was what Mom would have called “crying like your mom died” tears, and then it dawn on me as I cried out that one phrase that I couldn’t stop, “I want my Mummy!” At my happiest moment I am still really sad because I don’t have my mom to share it with. I miss you Mummy.

Well I guess that is the beauty of how human emotion works, allowing two extremes to exist in balance if not in harmony.