Down and Out Trying to Fight!

In another few days I will be another year older. As always I am quite depress around this time of the year, but this year I have added stress to make it more depressive. Lord, I have always taken what you give me and I have tried my best to live life in Your grace. But lately, I feel the hits are coming faster and harder, I know You won’t give more than I can take, but I feel like You have finally reached my limit, Lord, I am down on my knees, asking for a cease fire. Help! I can’t take any more.

For days, I have been thinking of writing about me and handling first Mom’s, then Adik’s bouts with mental illness. But as I typed today, I can’t. I can’t make myself go through all those heartbreaking periods of my life. That does not even count on my own dance with that devil. Suffice to say, however much I write or tell people, it will always be my cross to bear, however people sympathize, empathy is hard unless they have gone through similar situations.  Thank you Lord, for Phil and my family, for without them I would be already be drowning.

I don’t know what else to say. I pray for strength, because I am running out, I pray for better days ahead, because I know You won’t let me dwell too long in this misery. And of course I pray for Mom, Al-Fatihah!