Love hurts, never get that before, I do now. It doesn't matter what kind of love it is, whether for that special someone or for your family. Loving someone opens you up to an open wide chance of being hurt. I don't know why I let myself be vulnerable to this, I use to be protected, but it was lonely. Actually I am glad that I have let myself feel again, but when it hurts like today I wonder if it is worth all this pain.
There are words when said by the one you love can make you feel like a thousand knives twisting in you heart. I have always been vulnerable to dad's disapproval, and today was worse than any disapproval. I hate it when I feel like this.
It doesn't help that loving someone so far away makes me hurt everyday, missing him so much that it is no longer fun,it hurts!
So on all front right now love is hurting me, and all I want is for him to be here to take the hurt away!
Lol I sound like I am 5, but sometimes things are as simple and as complicated as when I was 5, I'd be happier. Well another day, gone by, another step! One day at a time I guess, Lord I hope the days in front are not as tough as now!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
What a girl would do...
I never thought I'd be the kind of girl, who'd like something or do something, just because her man likes or does it. But then again I never had enough boyfriends to know whether I am or not, lol.
One of the things Phil and I have in common is that we both like to play online games, we met in a game apps on facebook, lol. But facebook games are free and easily accessible and learned and played. Lately though he has been spending more and more time away from facebook and more and more in World of Warcraft(WoW). Missing him so much, I finally gave in and bought it and paid the subscription, just so I could spend more time with him, lol, and not spend my time being jealous of a game (at times I think WoW as his other woman, lol).
It is a good game admittedly, engaging but very difficult to learn for me. But I think without him around I would have stopped playing after a few weeks, coz I get bored with stuff that is hard for me to master. But he is patient with me, teaching me, even though it should have been obvious, but I guess it amuses him watching me learn. There's nothing I like more than the time when we play together, just him and me, doing quest, dying at quest, and him telling me stuff, bout what he has learnt, and guiding me along, the game is more than fun then, it gives us this rare chance to connect as much as we could being a thousand miles apart. So I have been thinking of all the time together when it is just him and me and no other friends of his along for the quest as our dates, lol, coz since WoW came along and I was not playing it, he has been ending our Skype date short lol, but now when he is not busy with his main character, he come and spend time with me. So now when I hear Sugarland's Stay, it does not make me think of all the time Phil spend in WoW.
It is funny this relationship of mine, we have to create new ways to be together, most long distance relationship does not work, so I guess we have to keep thinking of unique ways to keep this relationship alive, till we can be together in real time, I guess dating in Thunder Bluff and all around the places in WoW will have to do. LOL
One of the things Phil and I have in common is that we both like to play online games, we met in a game apps on facebook, lol. But facebook games are free and easily accessible and learned and played. Lately though he has been spending more and more time away from facebook and more and more in World of Warcraft(WoW). Missing him so much, I finally gave in and bought it and paid the subscription, just so I could spend more time with him, lol, and not spend my time being jealous of a game (at times I think WoW as his other woman, lol).
It is a good game admittedly, engaging but very difficult to learn for me. But I think without him around I would have stopped playing after a few weeks, coz I get bored with stuff that is hard for me to master. But he is patient with me, teaching me, even though it should have been obvious, but I guess it amuses him watching me learn. There's nothing I like more than the time when we play together, just him and me, doing quest, dying at quest, and him telling me stuff, bout what he has learnt, and guiding me along, the game is more than fun then, it gives us this rare chance to connect as much as we could being a thousand miles apart. So I have been thinking of all the time together when it is just him and me and no other friends of his along for the quest as our dates, lol, coz since WoW came along and I was not playing it, he has been ending our Skype date short lol, but now when he is not busy with his main character, he come and spend time with me. So now when I hear Sugarland's Stay, it does not make me think of all the time Phil spend in WoW.
It is funny this relationship of mine, we have to create new ways to be together, most long distance relationship does not work, so I guess we have to keep thinking of unique ways to keep this relationship alive, till we can be together in real time, I guess dating in Thunder Bluff and all around the places in WoW will have to do. LOL
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