Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Rambling on!
I don’t know why, but I have been super stressed out lately not to mention extremely sad. Phil has been extremely sweet this couple of weeks, and I should be happy, he spend a lot of time making sure he chats with me, I mean really chat, instead of just hi hun, how are doing, I really got to do my chores in wow, catch ya later, we talk and as always he really knows how to make up for those breezy chats. I guess I am antsy about the trip, worrying things would go wrong and I wouldn’t be able to go and couldn’t see him, I am having nightmares about it. I miss him so much, and the constant pain is like my best friend now, a familiar ache that just wouldn’t go away. If anyone would have told me that love hurts this much, I wouldn’t have been praying for it. Well as I wrote long ago, if you never taste pain you wouldn’t know what pleasure is. Well as always, limited pc time, so ‘til I get inspired to write, have a good time. :)
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Letters to Mummy 6
Dear Mummy,
Tomorrow is your birthday, and I am feeling so sad. No longer do I need to think what cake to get you this year, you loved your cakes so much, and each year it was fun thinking what you would enjoy. It was also fun locating the most practical gift to give you, you always had this weird fond smile when you opened my gifts, I knew you wanted frivolous stuff from me sometime, but I leave that to the sibs, practical is the way I roll, when you can read, books you like, when your eyes gave you problems, it is stuff like bags to keep your combs, pill boxes, things you can use. I miss that, thinking what to get you and searching for it.
The rose plant dad gave you for your anniversary last year is blooming it single red rose, as if it knows tomorrow is your birthday and how much you love blooming roses. Mummy we are moving on though we miss you so much, that we have to learn to face each moments lost now that you are not here and it still hurts, like the other day, I went to trim my hair and I cried on the way back because I would never have to bring you to trim yours anymore. So I asked Phil, would it always be this way that each moments lost to me would hurt? I don’t know Mom, but know that I will always try to honour your memory by going on strongly as you did in your life; I love you Mummy, Happy Birthday!
Along
Tomorrow is your birthday, and I am feeling so sad. No longer do I need to think what cake to get you this year, you loved your cakes so much, and each year it was fun thinking what you would enjoy. It was also fun locating the most practical gift to give you, you always had this weird fond smile when you opened my gifts, I knew you wanted frivolous stuff from me sometime, but I leave that to the sibs, practical is the way I roll, when you can read, books you like, when your eyes gave you problems, it is stuff like bags to keep your combs, pill boxes, things you can use. I miss that, thinking what to get you and searching for it.
The rose plant dad gave you for your anniversary last year is blooming it single red rose, as if it knows tomorrow is your birthday and how much you love blooming roses. Mummy we are moving on though we miss you so much, that we have to learn to face each moments lost now that you are not here and it still hurts, like the other day, I went to trim my hair and I cried on the way back because I would never have to bring you to trim yours anymore. So I asked Phil, would it always be this way that each moments lost to me would hurt? I don’t know Mom, but know that I will always try to honour your memory by going on strongly as you did in your life; I love you Mummy, Happy Birthday!
Along
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