Obsession

Each time it happens,
I vow I won't let myself be this pathetic,
I'd say I should not be so dependent
on a presence that is at best fleeting and virtual,
but somehow my heart won't let me be,
it doesn't matter,
that we have never met,
what we have shared made
meeting superfluous somehow,
but it is getting ridiculous
how low I feel,
the tears that fell for no reason,
the need to speak,
that it hurts so bad.
I think it has come to a point of obsession
an obsession I have no control over,
but having someone
whom I can talk to,
who can make me smile just by saying hello
who understands every single thing
I said or left unsaid
is so hard to give up.
But every time the silence cuts
deeper and deeper,
that I pray for the next
conversation,
the waiting is torturous,
and makes me wonder why?

Why do I feel this way?

Why do I need him so?

Why am I so pathetically obsess?!